I’m bawling right now. I never thought I’d be signed on to here again. my summer was flawless, I met the love of my life and he made me the happiest girl alive. I was so at peace with myself up until lately. I got diagnosed with depression just a month ago and got back from my follow up an hour ago.
I told myself I’m not going to eat.
I’ve been having an excellent time, loving my body, pigging out on food, but when I got weighed today at the doctor I saw I gained 6 pounds since my last visit. I almost started crying right then and there.
here I sit up in my room bawling, resorting back here. to this tumblr page that brings me back to all my pain I’ve overcome. it reminds of the bitter cold winter last year, freezing, not eating, obsessing, depressed, “fat”, lonely.
I still have the love of my life right here. unfortunately I think he’s lying to me. I asked him to hangout tonight and he made up a weak excuse that made NO sense and right then it set everything off.
6 fucking pounds. I was so proud of my weight too. I was almost to the goal weight I had always tried to achieve through starving, but never reached. and there I had almost met it being happy and eating as i pleased.
